Alex
IS FUCKING
GAY

and he fucking loves it 🌈💅

Oh honey, listen up.
You're so gay your walk has its own Pride parade.
Your wardrobe is 90% mesh, 10% shame, and 100% iconic.
You call your exes "seasonal flavors" and your therapist "babe".
You probably have a playlist called "Songs to cry in the club to"
and you've definitely topped from the bottom at least once this week.

Face it, Alex:
You're not just gay.
You're aggressively, unapologetically, extra as fuck gay.
And we all know you secretly love being dragged for it. 💅

Offensive gay anthem roast (sung to the tune of "I Will Survive")

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without dick by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong… and I learned how to take it up the ass all night long

Go on now, go! Walk out the door!
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore!
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with your lies?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh no, not I! I will survive!
As long as I have poppers and a Grindr profile, I will survive!